brown

I learned today that a blessing does not necessarily eliminate a deformity or what is outwardly perceived by others as a handicap but can manifest simply as a change of scenery or one’s situation as it relates to one’s happiness. I’m determined to dig around a bit, fertilize my current position and wait a year for my efforts to bear fruit. I want to feel sorry for myself but it seems like wasted energy. The universe is trying to tell me something. I need to work on my listening skills.

The above is brought to you by psychedelics, power, hunting, the strength to overcome, beautiful people in bars and the letter R.

Musical Accompaniment – Fun. – Some Nights

I pass up a lot of things mostly out of over thinking the situation. In this case the passing thought was, how ironic would it be if I stopped to shoot a dead animal and got dead in the middle of broad river road (an example)? “How unfortunate,” is what the CSI photographer would say and that’s the kindest statement I could imagine of this person and others, willing for the next 15 minutes to be distracted by the news of the sad demise of a photographer meeting his fate doing what he loved most. I mulled it over for about ten seconds, although it seemed to take a while. Everything about what I saw from the car as I passed looked violently graceful. Perfect. So I stopped, selected the appropriate settings, framed the shot, waited till the last car had cleared the horizon and fired away.

An external examination might find that perhaps I have a morbid fascination with death. I might, however, I’m inclined to think it’s no more than the next person. I find I have a wholesome appreciationg for life. Most of us do our best to keep death as far away from our conscious processes as possible.  However, if you’ve ever been witness to something similar in an animal or a person, then you’ve been witness to that something, call it a deep sadness or empathy. Perhaps it’s that realization that we all eventually meet the same end and we hope it’s peaceful or at least beautiful.

This post has little to do with death however, at least not in the literal sense. I’ve mentioned recently that those images that come to me seem to offer the best opportunity to create what I consider some of my best work. I guess this offers more of the same. Happiness, it seems, at least at this moment, is less about the chase and more about serendipity. Why chase something that cannot be caught? It would be foolish, like trying to catch the wind (I’ve been known to be stubborn). We all have our dragons and unicorns, but when the quest doesn’t bring joy then the intent of the journey is lost on/scars the soul. One cannot overlook that sometimes windmills manifest as fantasy creatures. I plan so much of everything, but here I’m finding I’m most happy when I let go.

Musical Accompaniment – Diddy feat Dirty Money, Lil Wayne, Justin Timberlake, Bilal… – Shades

A few Sundays ago, I had the pleasure to shoot with aspiring actress Pelham Spong.  As we discussed what she was looking for  she mentioned access to a farm.  I’m not sure I heard much after that.  How awesome! A shoot I could take Miles to.  I could get work done and he could sniff and chase things to his heart’s content.  We would both win and I would salvage a tiny bit of self-respect for spending time with my boy away from the confines of the house.  All went well except that bit about the giant rattle snake (the boy knows no fear, it’s actually worrisome).  It’s funny how quickly one can go from prancing aimlessly around a place to jumping ten feet every time you see your shadow.  Anyway, we survived and made this.

Musical Accompaniment – Phantogram – Nightlife (Courtesy of Stephanie)

Some things take time.  The challenge is being able to recognize not only that, but one’s limitations in being able to carry one’s vision through.  This shot is the perfect illustration of that idea.  I took it two years ago and recognized at the time that it was bigger than my ability at the time, so I waited.  Thanks to a bout of insomnia (“you’re getting old” – Bret) I rediscovered it and realizing I had grown tall enough in my work to do the edit justice I went for it. Hope you dig it.  The elves said you would. This post is dedicated to my two most recent Facebook fans Chris Burrier and Shannon Yauilla…cheers .

Musical Accompaniment - Pan – Post Rock is Not Dead

My first thought upon seeing this hatchling was how beautiful. There was a bit of sadness in that it never made it and yet a bit of joy celebrating this unexpected gift found on my morning walk of something fragile, unfinished, and naturally beautiful. In my attempt to edit a day later I didn’t seem to be able to conjure that colorful image in my head when I took the shot. My mood was the same (as far as I could tell) but the edit was dark and I couldn’t figure why. “[Mine's] not to reason why.”

This for some reason brought to mind Tennyson’s “The Charge of the Light Brigade.” For as long as I can remember I was an avid reader of all things war inspired (My favorite actors of the time; Norris, Stallone, and Schwarzenegger seemed to feed my fascination). As a child I would read the book of Joshua because of all the battles. I carried this fascination all the way through high school. I think most of my AP History books, when given the choice, had something to do with war (e.g. Rifles for Waite, Bury my heart at Wounded Knee, Going after Cacciato, etc). Some glorified the idea of war while others sought to depict the horror (e.g. Slaughter House Five).

There’s nothing like the perceived indestructibility of youth and nothing more jarring to the human condition than coming to terms with one’s mortality. However, we seem to avoid, whenever possible, and unless of course forced to, the beauty in death. The meaning of life has always been about death (for me). The space between the beginning and the end, whatever the length,  is how we make meaning of the journey.  I for some reason have found the most beauty and hope for humanity in this space among those who by choice or fate stand up in the face of a personal (real or imagined) end.  How else can one truly appreciate the gift of life? We are all fragile, unfinished, and if you’re lucky enough to live long enough to strip away the things that matter not, you also have the opportunity to be beautiful in the end.

Musical Accompaniment – Beach House – Bloom